What I Learned From My 2 Year Old

It's October and Scott died 4 months ago. Josephine turned 2 in July. I'm amazed at how much she is aware of and her memory of him.

My husband and I had a strong faith in God and I believe that he is in heaven. So when my daughter and I talk about daddy, I often tell her that "He had to go away. He loves us very much. We love him very much. He's happy. He's in heaven."

The other day, we were having a conversation about daddy and for the first time I asked her what she thought daddy was doing in heaven. It's interesting, but I hadn't put a lot of thought into that myself. So she said, "He's dancing." You see, Scott and I loved to dance. We met swing dancing and often danced with each other in front of her. While I was pregnant with Josephine we were even taking tap lessons together.

I said, "Yes, I bet he is dancing or maybe he's reading." And the game went on like that. Now when she brings up daddy, we talk about what he might be doing "right now". Dancing, swimming, reading, eating, singing. I love it. This conversation with my two year old has been so healing for me. I'm reminded me that Scott isn't just gone. If I believe in heaven then I guess I have to believe that he's doing something there right now just as I'm doing something here.

People often say to me that he's at rest now. Well, if I know Scott, the last thing he is doing right now is resting. He got plenty of rest while he was battling cancer. I think he's dancing.

(side note: I actually wrote this about a month ago but it took a while to post it)