Hello Everyone,

Here are some final thoughts on how I’m making sense out of all of this. Scott and I have always believed that God gives every marriage a purpose for serving Him. We had thought that maybe we would teach a class together or help young couples with pre-marital counseling. Now I know for certain that a big part of God’s purpose for our marriage was to go through this battle with brain cancer and share our experience with all of you. Thank you for letting us do that and giving us so much support along the way.

Looking ahead, our little family has a lot of changes to adjust to over this next year and beyond. My hope and strength still rests in the God that has much more for me to do. First I’m called to be a mother to our little ones and then I’m praying about how God is going to continue to use this experience to help others and serve Him.

This is a very hard time for me. Josephine and I are taking things one day at a time and grieving the loss of my honey and her dada. Josephine has needed a lot of stability around her and she still asks to “go see dada” so we’re working though that. I am so grateful to be surrounded by the love and compassion of caring people who are helping me emotionally, spiritually, and practically. I’m amazed at how busy I am getting things squared away legally and financially while preparing our home for the coming baby. I can’t wait to meet him!

I have one more request from all of you that would mean so much to me and the kids!! I’m gathering together things for the children that will teach them more about who their father was. I would love it if you could send me any stories, short or long, funny or serious, on your memories or experience with knowing Scott. I’m going to put them together and give it to them at the appropriate time when they are older. Thanks so so much. You can send the stories back to me here or send them to me at home, 1751 N. Talman Ave. Chicago, IL 60647. Thank you.

All our love to you,

Michele, Josephine and Baby Gray

This is a copy of the tribute I wrote for Scott that was read at his memorial service. Some of you have asked for a copy and others of you who couldn’t be there might enjoy reading it.

Michele


Today I have the privilege to honor Scott, my husband and our children’s father. I couldn’t be a prouder wife. I want people to know that Scott’s greatest achievements in life had nothing to do with the things he did but it was the virtue and character he possessed that made him so amazing and special. I’ll share a story that might explain that better. A few months ago when Scott’s muscles were getting weaker and his language was an everyday struggle, my sister and I were able to get him out of the house one day for a walk. Two young girls passed by us on the sidewalk. They were probably 12 or 13 years old and as they passed by one of the girls shot us a look that said, “who do you think you are walking on my piece of pavement.” I immediately thought to myself, “what bad attitudes”. Then Scott spoke and said, “she has so much pain.” His heart was broken for her as he continued. Struggling to get the right words he said, “she probably hates me but she doesn’t know that I have nothing”. Meaning that he was so sick. And then he said, “but I have everything, and I want her to know that I love her.” Scott saw right past her attitude and into her heart and he loved her. He even wanted to go back and tell her but decided not to because he knew how hard it would be to communicate. This is the Scott that I want you to remember. This is the Scott that I had the privilege of telling so often, “I want to be more like you.” He made me a better person and a better wife.

Scott was transformed by the things he learned throughout his life. He worked hard and even studied to learn about God and understand people and relationships. Anyone who’s ever been into our house would know this from Scott’s extensive book collection. I’m so proud of him for this but Scott would give all the credit to the God who transformed him, our Lord Jesus Christ.

He never lost his faith and trust in the Lord. As his body broke down, Scott’s spirit only shown brighter for all of us to see. It was so beautiful and inspirational to watch Scott and hear him and learn from him. Even on the hardest days his heart was filled with love and hope in Jesus. Jesus never failed him or us.

Scott and I talked about what he wanted me to tell you today. What he would want people to know at his funeral.

He said this,
“What I really want is to shine about everything I’ve been called to.
To remind people to walk with the Lord and enjoy him.
Remember to worship.
Remember Christ.
I want so many people to be touched by the Lord and not to be discouraged. I want them to be encouraged.
We don’t know what it’s going to be like in our futures but we can know that we are all going to be together. I’m praying that everyone would know Jesus Christ.”

That is what Scott said he wanted for today.

On behalf of Scott and myself I want to thank you for the incredible outpouring of love and support and prayers. You have profoundly blessed us. Throughout this battle, you often heard Scott say he felt he would beat this brain cancer because “God had more for him to do.” At times, as things got worse, even I wondered if this could be true. But then, over the past months he started to say this instead. He said, “I don’t want people to be discouraged because I know that God has so much more for them to do.” Remember this.

My comfort comes from knowing that God has done as he promised and he has restored my husband. Scott has eternal life in heaven with our great and mighty God! He is strong again, he is whole again, he can speak again and sing and worship the Lord once again. And I know that God still has much more for us and him to do.

Memorial Service on Thursday for Joseph Scott Gray

There will be a memorial service for Scott on:
Thursday, June 16th at Noon
First Presbyterian Church in Evanston
1427 Chicago Avenue
Evanston, IL 60201
There will be no wake or visitation. Scott's desire was for us to come together in a celebration of his life and the God that he loves so much. He said he wanted his service to "shine for Jesus Christ!". Personally, I see them both shining!

You can find a copy of Scott's death notice/obituary on the funeral home web site. It's http://donnellanfuneral.com. There is a very handsome picture of Scott included.

God Bless You,
Michele

This morning, Sunday June 12th, at 5AM Scott went home to be with Jesus. I was holding his hand. Please don't call the house so over these next few days I can take care of Josephine and make necessary arrangements. There are people with me and helping me.

I hope to have all the details of the upcoming memorial service and reception available tomorrow (Monday afternoon). I'll post them on the website and have them emailed out from scooterscoop on Monday.

Love,
Michele

Since the last update, Scott's health has taken a rapid decline. I now have an excellent caregiver to help me with Scott 12 hours a day. Thank you for praying about that. His strength has left him, he sleeps most of the day and night and has very little response to us. He is not in any pain and his sleep is very peaceful.

This past week, as he became more and more dependent on us and unable to care for himself, it was frustrating for him. He was able to tell me that he knew God didn't want to keep him this way long. This gave me such peace. I know he is right and I feel that the time is coming soon where God is going to restore him (one way or another). His love and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ has never ever waned. I know that God can do a miracle and heal him physically, even now. But, I am also fully aware that Scott's healing may come through his death. I have not given up hope for a miracle but I have accepted the reality that God may have a different plan.

God has been comforting me with the knowledge that Scott may soon be restored in heaven. All I can say is God has shown us such mercy and grace throughout this entire journey, the hardest part is happening now, is seeing Scott so weak and helpless. I can't wait to have the peace of knowing that Scott has been restored to wholeness, healed fully, in a place where all his heart and soul and voice and strength will be praising and serving the Lord on high once again!!! This is what we live for. Again and again, throughout this battle, Scott would say, "For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21 And this is how Scott lived. He lived for Christ, everyday, and he knew that someday in death he would receive the promise of eternal life in heaven. This is comfort to me. I even think that everything Scott said about God having more for him to do, is going to be revealed for Scott in heaven. I'm sure that God must have something very important for Scott to do and someday I and the kids will get to find out what that is.

Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Your love has sustained us.

Love,
Michele